letter

Hey Schziso,
Lately i was kind of agitated. friends asked how did i feel? I Just asnwered i am ok automatically. I was not true to my own feeling. It kind of hard for me to say oh well i was not ok. Then I had to explained what it was i felt. May be i did not even know what it was that i felt. I laughed it away with some dull humor. I should learned to say it loud how i felt rather than swallowed it with some phony assurance " i will be fine". I am fucking angry. At what? whom? The pathethic thing about it is that i did not know Why i am angry. Reading book; doing yoga and meditation, i blanketed my self in false " happy lovingkindness". I was edgy. I wished i could walked to a shore and screamed my head off. Then put my head back on when i done!
By the way you told me about love and loving. What did you know about love, Schziso? Get a tatoo.
Your other,
B