The Two arrows

First is the the sensation. Second is whatever comes to the mind after sensation.
My thought: Ouch!

Wish

A retreat at Plum Village.

Thoughts

I read the shambhala magazine on the subway home tonite. It is interesting and disturbing
- " set your mind at zero"
-my thought : zero means something or nothing?
- " put the identify system idle "
-my thought : idle? yes i will do it all the times when i am in chat room but away from the computer per se :)P

A kiss of denial

I am about going to bed but i write this down quick before snooze. I had a dream that all man are created equal...just kidding! Actually my dream was i and doctor H took a coffee break together. I have a crush onhim since he started working at the hospital. I thought at first he was gay but it utrned out he married with kid. I am flirting with him now and then but he is always keep a straight face with me. Back to the dream which we were heading to a coffee shop but suddently he changed his mind . I told me that he would like togo to the theme park instead. So we did. We took a roller coaster ride. As we were riding downhill fast, he was screaming loud . I turned to him and gave him a kiss on his lip. Supprisingly he kissed my back. After that he said we should head back to work. The break is over. The thrill was so short but intense like the roller coaster ride. i called it a kiss of denial.

one and one is two

D decided not to go on the trip to Argentina. So i then go on the trip by myself . I was disappointed. But thing happened for reason. I will be fine. I might learn to tango. The hardest part is that Tango takes two. Did i just fail the math?

Ring of trees

Ring of trees
Originally uploaded by bofo.

I was standing right in the middle of it , looking up and wishing you were here.

buy list vs play list

Hold on tight london By chemical brother ( U go brothers and where is the chemical?)
Hotel Intro by Moby ( Nice intro; i was looking at Faena hotel on line)
Children by robert Miles ( He got kids?)
Fade into you by Mazzy Star ( love Crazy Star)
Cantaloop by US3 ( mine good old days!)
They by Jem ( who are they?)
Extreme ways by Moby ( Also by Theo )
Keep Hope alive by Crystal Meth ( really! )

the chicken or the egg

Lately i became so lazy to write . Maybe i just don't know what i should write. Then i wrote why i didn't write. So then i wrote.

Eat, drink, man or woman

Last two days i had such a welcome from day staffs. The sun was os bright and lovely. However my my stomach was confused with my new eating habit. It did not know when was lunch or dinner. I t consumed a lot of food for sure.

sleeples in new york city

I fell asleep for 1 hour then here i am. I made myself a bowl of instant noodle with some letuce and alot hot chili. It was delicious. My tongue was on fire. I put on my dental cap with bleech. No more eating and drinking til morning. I took an ambien and sat om ny bed with the lap top. Earlier i was chatting on line. B insited to see my gential shot. He was such a german cock pit. A seemed to be a nice guy who wanted to see me asap. He set a date then called back to cancel 'cuz he just found out he will be out of town. It was Not supprising at all. T* called and talked about his new experience which he was trying to purifiy his body by drinking his own piss. I was not making this up. He was kind of guy into mythology and "god knows what" film documentaries. I called J . I was glad that mabel is ok and i felt bad that i made him upset. At last , not least, D called and asked me to come and sleep over. I said I am having a period. Just kidding! Actually i want to stay home and considered drinking my own piss as T* recomened. Just a thought of that idea , i could not urinate. My goodness. Oop my head started feeling oozy. The amien made its call. Good nite.

The Weekend

I met G last thurday. He talked so much that i had to drink another amstel light.
I met T and N on Friday, We went to PS1. That was wonderful.
I met R saturday. He claimed that i was his birthday boy. There was no cake.
I met my mediation group Yesterday. I was asked who is my inner child? i wished i said Pinochino.
I was eating ice cream at Union Square this afternoon. I was asked in what country did baskin robin ice cream first made. I was told it was England. Matter of fact i was eating tasty delight french vanila ice cream.

The Fort

The Fort
Originally uploaded by bofo.

Felt like i was here but not here. Escape.

Agar

Agar
Originally uploaded by bofo.

An early morning gaze at the Taj

Kodakrome

kodakrome
Originally uploaded by bofo.

This is not the Gates.

Bryce canyon

Bryce canyon
Originally uploaded by bofo.

Heat miser - Massive Attack-

meadow

meadow
Originally uploaded by bofo.

I walked and walked for miles in the canyon. It was so quite that i heard my own breath until i saw this meadow and the feeling of being in the hidden paradise

b

b
Originally uploaded by bofo.

A the edge of the cliff, fear makes the best view . Live dangerously.

No.2

No.2
Originally uploaded by bofo.

Multiple choice

Miss you

Shell
Originally uploaded by bofo.

I have this shell for almost 5 years from Bahamas. This morning i decided to take a picture of it and post it as my fare well to you. Hope you find the comfort in the shell. What left in it is the echo of the ocean that wash the shore you once walked. So long,

Cold skin

last night at work I noticed an asian man pacing up and down the corridor. I looked up his name on the board and it turned out he is vietnamese. He name is LMH who is apparently doesn't know where is or was before. He seems to lost his mind over insanity. He has been homeless for last 6 months. He sleeps from corner to corner around china town and ate whatever he could get to. I spoke to him in our mother language. He did not talk much. Most of the times he made incomprehensive words or sound. I felt useless. I took him out side for a cigarette as he asked. As we walked back inside the building, i asked him want some food. He shook his head signaling " no". He turned to me and said something about being dirty. He mentioned several names and asked me whether or not i know any one of them. I did not. i felt terrible. Suddenlty he knee down on the floor and pulled out from his right sock a piece of paper . i was hoping he got some number which i could call for help. He handed it over to me and told me unfold and read it. It said " i i i i kisss meeting nice hello". I read it over and over try to make sense what he wrote. I asked him what it meant? He did not answer. I still looked at him sincerely waiting for some response. Finally he withdraw from me and paced away. The last word he said was " da lanh". Somehow I felt ashamed of myself.

horace silver quintet

" the cape verdean blues" is a such moving song....

paranoia

!@#$%^&*()

The alliens

I read it from one's blog today said" FUTURE alliens speak Mandarin".
I wonder what do NOW alliens speak?
Cantonese ?

Central park

central park
Originally uploaded by bofo.

XO

Coursoivier

I was staring at the cognac ad on the subway. It said " how respectful of you to stand". I cracked up and thought out loud " how long? ".

I ( heart) NY Subway 2

I ( heart) NY Subway 2
Originally uploaded by bofo.

Mind The Call

I (heart) NY Subway 1

I (heart) NY Subway 1
Originally uploaded by bofo.

Fare hike

Join us

he asked " Can i see you? I want to see you"
i said " ok, i am free fri eve"
he paused" Oh i can't. i am going to dance with my friend at the pryramid"
i said " it's ok . There will be another time"
he said " But i want to meet you; how about join us"


p.s he already made up his mind.

Than This

I and D were taliking about the plan for trip in april to buenos aires. he also recommend to see Iguazu water fall and patagonia.
I asked ''what they have to do and see at Iguazu."
he said "the water fall."
i said " so let go to patagonia"
He said " ok"
I smiled and thought it couldn't get any easier than this.

What If Sorry

Date:
Fri, 11 Mar 2005 15:14:55 EST

Subject:
The Truth

To:
 b4wow@yahoo.com, booqoo5@yahoo.com
Dear Bao,

I saw you on the F train last Saturday and was overwhelmed with feelings.
I apologize for not speaking to you.

I am sorry for you.
I am sorry for me.
We both lost.

I ask you to please contact me so that we can meet and talk.
I'd like to reach a level of peace and understanding with you.

I love you,

T

Oop there it is

I got an email from a guy who resposed to my gaydar profile. The email said that he could not check mail at work so please write to him with the email address he gave me. Then i looked at that email account. It is a work email with a signature listed with his name phone number and the titlle. I maybe retarted. What should i do? Writing a memo?

Puppy

Puppy
Originally uploaded by bofo.

Ilan has a new puppy named Blacky.

Blacky

i was asleep when Ilan called from Israel. He said his dad gave him a puppy. I asked what kind of dog then he said something i could not recall but i do remember he named it Blacky. He is so happy with the puppy. Well next time i will ask him is the puppy gay? Mine is so butch. Ilan aslo said his Dad ( retired artist ) will have an exhibition in budapest in May. He wonder if i could come. Too bad i will be in New Mexico doing white water raffting. I like his works. He is so clever with color. I wonder why he gave Ilan a Black dog. Woof!

He

i went to gym after work. I felt there was a guy cheking me out in the gym. He is very tall muscular eastern euro accent shaved head early 40's man. But he has a tatoo of a naked girl on his hand. I was confused. Maybe he want a side kick? May be he just want something different after eating shushi for a while. What the hell i know! I was naked in the locker romm after the shower applying usual facial lotion . Suddently i heard a voice behind me. It was him again fully dressed looking at my back. I wished i did not step on the towel so i then had something to cover up. Here i was butt naked with a tube of " super liff off" trying to recap it. He started talking " nice tatoo". I said " thank you". I was on the hurry put on my underwear. He smiled and left the lock room. My goodness he did not turn back. I already had a hard on. i think he is bisexual. Next time i will take a peak at him while he is naked. I hope he has another tatoo beside the chick on his hand so i can make a compliment otherwise i will say " nice dick".

" got ya "

Out of the blue i felt so empty. I don't know what it is but the empitness which i felt had no form. Maybe the music i was listening to. Maybe the weather was harshed. I turned on the TV but the sound bothering me so i muted it. Watching TV and reading lips were all i were doing this eve beside listenting to stream music Cable radio Uk..Forever Cool JAzz ...Drone Zone Ambien...Classical WCPE. Then I went in the chat room. It was even worst. I felt lonely. It was kind of creepy loneliness which comes out once a while and says " got ya". Yes it got me tonight.

Picture this

He asked " what's on your mind? "
I said " two monkies and a yoyo"
I said even more " actually two monkies fighting over yoyo"
...... ( no response)
I guessed it was too graphic.

gay.com

" Konstantin and I also am looking for serious long-term
relationship. I am 25
years old guy. I have brown eyes and kind heart (I think so :-) I am
romantic
person and looking for someone who find place in my lonely heart. I
think that
romantic is necessary because romantic make feelings save for a very
long time.
I don't want temporary relationship so I hope for decency and
honesty. I am
looking for person who I can trust, become true friends and partners
if things
will work out. I hope one day I find him and my searches will be
over. Please,
write me and tell more about you because profile is very little to
know person
enough. I will tell you more about myself in my next letter as well.
I like to
read, I good comedy and make people smile.

I hope you are interested and I will find your letter in my mailbox. ....."

P.s i hope he sent to the right mail box.

Chat room

" what's up ? "
" Just Veggin simple chilling shit..."
" ? ? ? "


p.s I thought he said that he had a blank vegetable chilli tasted like sh_t

5 lbs

I and P , one of my favor girlfriend from work, were chatting at the desk.
She suddently grabbed my bicep and said " bump it up ha".
I laughted forcedly and said " leave my mickey mouse alone, i like being skinny" .
She was so cute at being nosy " who you see and what you do, tell me" she asked.
I pointed at W and said " i want to see him and do him but he has bf" i answered her in a way that i had to come up with something.
P grined at me " oh no" .
I got up " be back one minute" i said to P .
I then went to pediatric room and weight myself. I gained 5 lbs.
I returned to P i said " sex me up...oh...set me up" .
I need no diet. I want sex. Good sex. Good man. Whatever comes first.
I am a pig. oink. oink.

That's good

I was on my way out off work, M pulled my hands and smiled " i heard you are coming to work day shift" . He talked so low as being afraid of some one would hear the conversation.
I said" yeah ! i need a change"
He wouldn't let my hands go " you are coming to us"
I smiled back at him and felt lillte uncomfortable al thou i did not completely comprehen what he meant " us"
He finally released my hands " That's good"
I started walking away " Thanks M"
As i left the building and thought about what i just heard and i concluded " That's good" .
It is just simple as that.

b

b
Originally uploaded by bofo.

b as a balm

Herding

tieu dong
Originally uploaded by bofo.

Tieu Dong

Hi Flat,
i want to introduce you to my other twin, buffalo boy. Would you like to go out having some buffalo wings? It's kind of spicy. You and Tieu Dong will have a good time.

Ice Candle

Ice Candle
Originally uploaded by bofo.

A cold dinner

Cotton candy

Cotton candy
Originally uploaded by bofo.

For Flat

Fence

Fence
Originally uploaded by bofo.

The Garden,You and I.

Flat

Dear Flat,
Is you a stuffed animal which was a gift from loved one who is disappered form his own anger and grief. Do i still have a meal with him? If yes, i will bring over his his favor desert if i know what it is. I understand he will need sometimes and i would not mind to wait. C u later and don't fall flat, my dear Flat.

self-exam

i woke up this morning with a sore to my lt shoulder and armpit. With my eyes haft opened , i walked into the bathroom and pee. It felt so good as i pee without looking at the toilet and not spill. Then i looked at meyself in the mirror. I started touching at .... the shoulder ofcourse. I raised my lt arm up and dowm, feeling for any lump or bump under my armpit. Suddently i cracked up . What the f_ck was i doing? A selft breast exam ? I walked out the bathroom into the kitchen and made a cup of coffee. what happen if a male has breast ? Then Victor has no secret.

Flat Eric

It seems like there are more twist and turns happening to this lillte bloging "community" . I should zip my mouth and mind my own business but... welcome Flat Eric. You are not a yellow puppet. You are such a "sweet surrender". May i read more about you? I meant it sincerely.

killing times

So i did go to gym after work. I also sweated myself in the sauna. The whole "ting" took 1 hour and 30 min. I feel so damn good beside the faCT that i had a cold shower (intented) after witness a man walked into the sauna with his " trunk" between the legs. My goodness! I though there were a fire somewhere in the gym so this man came in with that hose. Anyway i come up with an idea that i will use the computer lab upstair from the gym ( mcburney Ymca) and therefore i am here blogging and swinging my head while enjoying the new ipod shuffle. Wish i have some music from the Village people. That will complete my sence for this morning. The YMCA early bird! The computer i using numbered 6 which facing the door so that everyone walk in this room will see my business. I just now look around the room. There are three users left . I saw one screen to the left showed " Chicago marathon" web site. I guess he want to run .The other screen is blocked by the colum. Back to my screen, i want to wrap it up. Writing this blog is not that fun to do. My motif is " killing time" so i just write BS and BS is not fun most of the time. wasting time by killing time is such a waste. i stop and post it.

dried plum

i have a appoitment at 11a; i will get out of work at 8 am. What should i do in between. Going to gym is a thought but i can't work out for 3 hours. MAybe i work out for 45 min and spend the next 2 hour in the sauna. Sound great! i going to get so dehydrate and become a dried plum. Then I am good for nothing but the tea ceremony.